Doofclunk Trades — Doof Trades, You Chill

Automated Stock Trading You Can Test Before You Trust

Doofclunk follows your rules, watches the market, and trades through Alpaca. Start with virtual funds — watch the decisions — then decide if live trading makes sense for you.

Try Paper Trading Free Sign In

No credit card required. Start with virtual funds.

Doofclunk Trades mobile app

📱 You Stay in Control

Monitor your portfolio, review AI decisions, adjust risk settings, and start or stop trading anytime — all from your phone.

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What Doofclunk Does for You

🧪

Paper Trading First

Start with virtual cash. Watch Doofclunk's decisions in real time before committing real money. Zero risk to learn.

🧠

AI-Powered Analysis

Reads live news from multiple sources, analyzes market sentiment, triggers trades on breaking events, and runs scenario planning — all within the risk settings you choose.

🛡️

Your Risk Settings

5 risk tiers you select. Trailing stop losses, position sizing, and drawdown breakers protect your capital according to your rules.

📱

Works Everywhere

Web app, Android app, and desktop. Trades execute on our servers based on your settings — no need to keep your phone on.

💰

Commission Free

Powered by Alpaca — FINRA-registered, SIPC-protected, zero commission trades. Your money stays in your brokerage account.

🔒

You Keep Control

Start/stop anytime. Revoke access anytime. Doofclunk can never withdraw funds — only place trades within your parameters.

How It Works

1
Create Account

Sign up in 10 seconds. You start with paper trading — virtual funds, zero risk.

2
Set Your Rules

Choose your risk tier and Doofclunk will set up your watchlist and trading strategy.

3
Watch, Then Decide

Review the AI's paper trades. When you're confident, connect a live Alpaca account.

What Doofclunk Can & Cannot Do

✓ Can

  • Place trades within your risk settings
  • Monitor markets on your schedule
  • Apply stop losses and drawdown breakers
  • Read news and run AI analysis
  • Paper trade with virtual funds
  • Stop trading when you tell it to

✗ Cannot

  • Withdraw funds from your account
  • Guarantee profits or returns
  • Prevent all losses
  • Operate during broker outages
  • Eliminate all risk from sudden market drops
  • Replace professional financial advice

Membership Plans

Start free. Upgrade when you're ready for more power.

Doofclunk Lite
$0
No credit card needed
  • Auto-trading (paper only)
  • Risk tiers up to Balanced
  • Scheduled market checks
  • Basic portfolio view
  • Doofclunk Tips
  • Recent activity log
Doofclunk Smash
$20/mo
Maximum risk unlocked
  • Everything in Trades
  • All 5 risk tiers (Growth + Aggressive)
  • AI triggers entries + exits
  • Pro Analytics (coming soon)
  • Lifetime activity history
  • Direct support

Trust & Security

🔐

OAuth-Only Connection

We never see your brokerage password. Alpaca OAuth grants limited trade-only permissions. Revoke access anytime from your Alpaca dashboard.

🛡️

No Fund Access

Doofclunk cannot withdraw, transfer, or move money. It can only place and cancel trades within your connected account.

🔒

Encrypted & Secure

All connections over HTTPS/TLS. Authentication via Firebase. OAuth tokens stored encrypted. No credit card data touches our servers (Stripe handles payments).

📋

Data Retention

Trade history and activity logs retained while your account is active. Delete your account anytime and all data is removed within 30 days.

💳

Cancel Anytime

No contracts, no lock-in. Cancel from your account settings. Subscription runs until end of billing period, then reverts to free tier.

Doofclunk

🧙 The Legend of Doofclunk

The warrior who traded his shovel for stocks

Doofclunk spent years swinging his magic shovel at dragons, goblins, and the occasional tax collector. One day he realized: the real treasure was compound interest all along.

So he put down the shovel (mostly), studied the markets, and built a system that watches stocks while you live your life. He digs through market data so you don't have to stare at charts all day.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is my money safe?

Your money is held by Alpaca Securities LLC (FINRA/SIPC protected). Doofclunk only has permission to place trades — never to withdraw funds. You can revoke access from your Alpaca dashboard anytime.

Do I need trading experience?

No. You choose a risk level (1-5) and a watchlist. Doofclunk follows those settings. We recommend starting with paper trading to see how it works before using real funds.

What is Alpaca?

Alpaca is a FINRA-registered brokerage built for automated trading. Commission-free, no minimums, and your money stays in your own account. Doofclunk connects via secure OAuth — we never see your password.

Can I try it without real money?

Yes — that's the recommended path. Alpaca provides a free paper trading account with virtual cash. Watch Doofclunk trade risk-free for as long as you want before deciding on live trading.

What platforms does it work on?

Doofclunk Trades works on any modern browser, has an Android app, and can be installed as a PWA on iOS, Windows, and Mac. Trades run server-side so you don't need to keep anything open.

Can I cancel anytime?

Yes. No contracts, no lock-in. Cancel from your account settings. Your subscription stays active until end of the billing period, then reverts to the free tier. Your Alpaca account and holdings remain yours.

Can Doofclunk guarantee profits?

No. All trading involves risk, including loss of principal. Doofclunk is a tool that follows your settings — it is not a financial advisor and cannot guarantee returns. Past performance does not predict future results.

About the Founder

Joshua Brownrigg — Intelligence Analyst & AI Automation Specialist, based in DFW, Texas.

Doofclunk Trades is a solo-founded product built on the belief that automated trading tools should be transparent, honest about limitations, and accessible to everyone — not just quant shops.

Support: doofclunk@doofclunktrades.com — Responses typically within 24–48 hours.

Start with Paper Trading — Free

No credit card. No commitment. Watch the decisions, then decide.

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Privacy Policy Terms of Service Pricing

Doofclunk Trades is not a registered investment advisor, broker-dealer, or financial planner. This is an automated trading tool, not financial advice. All trading involves risk, including the potential loss of your entire investment. Past performance does not guarantee future results.