Doofclunk Trades connects to your Alpaca brokerage account. Your money is held by Alpaca Securities LLC, a FINRA member and SIPC-protected broker. Doofclunk never has direct access to withdraw your funds — he can only place trades through the Alpaca API. You can revoke access at any time from your Alpaca dashboard.

Doofclunk now runs a disciplined, evidence-based allocation strategy — not minute-to-minute trading:

1. Target Allocation — Your Risk Score selects a target portfolio: a fixed mix of broad-market and technology ETFs (the growth sleeve) plus short-term treasuries and gold (the defensive sleeve). Lower risk holds more defensive assets; higher risk holds more stocks with a stronger tech tilt.

2. Monthly Rebalancing — Doofclunk holds that target and rebalances back to it about once a month, trimming what has grown and topping up what has lagged. He also rebalances if a holding drifts far from its target weight.

3. Downturn Overlay — When the broad market (SPY) falls below its 200-day trend, the lower and middle tiers automatically shift part of the stock sleeve into cash-like short-term treasuries, then shift back when the trend recovers. The Aggressive tier stays fully invested.

4. Buy-and-Hold Core — Between rebalances he simply holds. No signal-chasing, no news-reaction trading, no churn. The current allocations have been tested on adjusted 2016–2026 data with next-session execution; past results do not guarantee future returns.

5. Fractional Investing — Trades use fractional shares, so every dollar is put to work at the target weights regardless of account size.

6. Optional Drawdown Breaker — You can set an account-level circuit breaker that pauses rebalancing if your portfolio falls too far from its peak. It's off by default, since each tier already manages risk through its allocation.

Doofclunk has 5 risk tiers set by the Risk Score slider. Each tier is a fixed target allocation on the risk/return spectrum — higher tiers hold more stocks and tilt harder toward technology:

Conservative (0–20) — ~30% stocks / 70% defensive: a small SPY + staples core with short-term treasuries (SHY) and gold. De-risks 75% of the stock sleeve in a downturn. Lowest volatility.
Cautious (21–40) — ~60% stocks / 40% defensive: SPY + QQQ core with a treasury and gold cushion. De-risks 50% in a downturn.
Balanced Growth (41–60) — ~80% stocks / 20% defensive: SPY + QQQ plus a technology sleeve, light cushion. De-risks 33% in a downturn.
Growth (61–80) — 100% stocks, tech-tilted: QQQ + SPY + XLK. De-risks 25% in a downturn.
Aggressive (81–100) — 100% stocks, tech-concentrated: QQQ + XLK + SPY. Stays fully invested, no de-risking.

Free and Trades ($10) users can use Conservative through Balanced Growth. Smash ($20) unlocks Growth and Aggressive. There is no stock-picking or leverage — just diversified, rebalanced index exposure sized to your risk tolerance.

When auto-trading is enabled, Doofclunk manages your portfolio on one global server schedule — even when the app is closed. Because this is a buy-and-hold allocation strategy, the check runs about hourly and only acts when a rebalance is actually due (roughly monthly, on a large drift from target, or when the market's 200-day trend flips). Most checks simply confirm you're on target and do nothing.

All users share the same schedule. Free-tier users auto-trade with paper money; paid users trade with real money.

Connect using Paper Trading mode when linking your Alpaca account. Paper Trading uses Alpaca's virtual cash to place simulated trades that track real prices — zero risk, real market conditions.

Doofclunk invests your buying power according to your tier's target allocation, rebalancing to those weights. When you're ready for real money, switch to Live mode in Account Settings.

Quick guide:
• Paper Trading = virtual money trades, no risk
• Live Trading = real money trades

1. Click the Paper Trading button at the top of the app
2. Select Live Trading
3. Agree to the confirmation pop-up
4. Click Continue
5. Click Connect to Alpaca

That's it — no new keys or extra steps. To switch back to paper, follow the same steps and select Paper Trading instead.

To deposit funds for live trading:

1. Go to app.alpaca.markets
2. Click Alpaca Connect
3. Select Add Funds and follow the prompts

Your money goes directly into your Alpaca brokerage account — Doofclunk never touches or holds your funds. Deposits typically arrive in 1–3 business days via ACH bank transfer. There's no monthly fee — Alpaca accounts are free.

Your money is held in your Alpaca brokerage account — Doofclunk never holds your funds. To withdraw:

1. Log in to your Alpaca account at app.alpaca.markets
2. Go to Transfers → Withdraw
3. Enter the amount and confirm

Withdrawals go back to your linked bank account, typically within 1–3 business days. Note that recently deposited funds or proceeds from recent sells may have a settlement period (T+1) before they're available to withdraw.

You can withdraw any time — there's no lock-up or penalty. Doofclunk only places trades on your behalf; your cash and positions are always 100% yours.

It depends on your Risk Score. Lower tiers intentionally keep part of your account in defensive assets — short-term treasuries and gold — rather than stocks. For example, Conservative targets about 30% stocks and 70% defensive, so most of your money is deliberately kept out of equities to reduce risk.

On top of that, the downturn overlay can move part of the stock sleeve into cash-like treasuries when the market is below its 200-day trend, and shift it back when the trend recovers.

Want more of your money in stocks? Raise your Risk Score. Growth and Aggressive target 100% stocks with a technology tilt. Remember that "fully invested" also means larger swings — that trade-off is exactly what the slider controls.

Market Notes is a text field where you can jot your own market outlook and observations. It also feeds Doofclunk Thinks, the AI scenario lab, where you can explore "what if" reactions to news.

Important: Doofclunk's automated investing now follows a fixed, rules-based allocation for your risk tier — it does not read your notes or the news to decide trades. There is no headline-driven buying or selling. Market Notes and the news feed are informational and power the scenario lab only.

What NOT to write: Material non-public information (insider information). Even though the trading engine does not act on your notes, sharing inside information is a federal crime under SEC regulations. Doofclunk Trades is a tool — legal responsibility for the information you provide rests with you.

Compliance: All Market Notes are logged with timestamps as part of your activity history. These records may be provided to regulatory authorities if required by law.

Yes. Your trading data, activity logs, and Alpaca credentials are stored securely on our servers and are never shared with third parties. We don't sell your data or use it for advertising. Your Alpaca API connection uses encrypted tokens and can be revoked at any time. See our Privacy Policy for full details.

Doofclunk keeps a log of every market check, trade, settings change, and scenario you run. This data powers your analytics and helps you track performance over time.

Doofclunk Lite — Keeps your most recent 200 events
Doofclunk Trades — Keeps your most recent 2,000 events
Doofclunk Smash — Lifetime history — every event is stored permanently for full Pro Analytics reports

To switch Alpaca accounts:

1. Click Account in the top bar
2. Click Disconnect to remove your current connection
3. Click Reconnect (or use the onboarding screen) to connect a new account

You can connect via the one-click Connect with Alpaca button or enter API keys manually.

Doofclunk Trades is available as an Android app you can install directly:

Option 1 — Direct download: Visit doofclunktrades.com/download on your Android phone and tap the download button. You may need to allow installs from unknown sources in your phone's settings.

Option 2 — Add to Home Screen: Open doofclunktrades.com in Chrome on your phone, tap the three-dot menu, and select "Add to Home Screen." This installs the web app as a full-screen app on your device.

Google Play: Coming soon — we're testing a bit more before submitting to the Play Store.

The Android app is the same Doofclunk Trades experience — auto-trading runs on our servers whether the app is open or not.

To fund your Alpaca account:

1. Log in to your Alpaca Dashboard
2. Go to Banking (or Transfers)
3. Click Transfer Funds and link your bank account
4. Choose your deposit amount and confirm

Deposits typically arrive in 1-3 business days. Alpaca also supports instant deposits for smaller amounts.

Note: If you're using Paper Trading, your account comes pre-loaded with virtual cash — no deposit needed!

Pro Analytics is a premium reporting feature coming soon for Doofclunk Smash subscribers. It will use your lifetime activity history to generate detailed performance reports — including P&L breakdowns, win rate, week-over-week comparisons, and year-over-year trends. Think Power BI, but for your Doofclunk trades.